A few years ago I settled on the “fact” that I would never find the right person for me or have love in my life.
Like many, I spent years dating.
I did all of the things “the experts” tell us to do…
Make a list of the things you want in a man (which I do recommend).
Go to different places to meet a different type of man.
Try online dating.
Don’t be so rigid or expect too much (as in don’t expect him to have both a house and car… or at the very least, not at the same time)!
And the list goes on and on…
Oh, the stories I could tell about my dating experiences.
I could easily turn them into a #1 box office comedy. That’s for sure!
But after trying for so long, unsuccessfully, I did the one thing I had never tried before.
I gave up! Meaning I surrendered.
Got really clear about who I was and what I really wanted in my life.
Focused on appreciating what I already had.
In doing these things, my list came down to only a few things.
These included wanting to be happy, travel and live my best life.
And the reality was I didn’t need a man in my life to do those.
I have always been my biggest fan. But I became a super fan of me.
Then came the realization that having a man in my life, or not, did not define my happiness or me.
I stopped dating totally for about a year just to focus on being the best me I could be.
Yes, a whole year! I was over it!
It was during that time that I realized I am enough, all by myself.
And if I never had another date again in my life, it did not mean there was anything wrong with me.
Settling was no longer an option just for the sake of being with someone.
Just when I got nestled into my new realization that I would be single for the rest of my life and when I was not jet setting somewhere, I would take up residency in my daughter’s guest house once she got married and had a family (she was 14 at the time), it happened…
I met my love. We’ve now been happily together over two years.
And as it turned out we had known each other over 20 years.
Here’s how I created space for love in my life:
– I let go of the constant thoughts of not having someone and became appreciative for everything I had.
– I became okay with me. Just me. And knew that I was enough by myself.
– I became happy by and with myself and did not expect anyone to bring happiness to me.
– I focused on my life being full with what I had and not the absence of what I did not.
In short form, I loved me first.
And by the way, he has all the things I had on my list!!! Score!!!
You too can create love or whatever it is you want in your life!